Baphomet Double Bock

Brewed at Rennes-le-Château, France from an old Templar recipe, this beer combines a rich palate, an unexpectedly sudden finish and an allusive aftertaste you'll savor long after it's gone. Some aficionados say that if you put your ear to the glass, you'll hear the frothy head murmuring arcane mysteries.

Chupacabra Light

Aged six months in goat-hide casks then teleported to Gamma Draconis and back for a taste that's robustly rural yet insouciantly space-aged. We use recently declassified Area 51 technology to make half the calories of Chupacabra Stout vanish, so suck down a few tonight-- never mind your diet!

Roanoke Special Export

The long-neck was full when the bartender set it down, but you look back during the pre-penalty kick commercial and it's empty. Some joker's scribbled the word "croatan" on the coaster that you're sure was blank a minute before. The only handprint on the bottle is your own.

Aleph Pale Ale

The toast of Buenos Aries now available right here in Uqbar! It's everything a beer should be. Available in 15 oz and 22 oz Klein bottles. For best flavor, store between the treads of a steep stairway leading down into a dank and lightless cellar.

Windmill Hill Summer Special

We hand-harvest grain from crop circles throughout Britain to create a beer whose glowing amber color is shot through with spark-bright bubbles. Bower and Chorley Brewing LLC denies responsibility for any objects seen-- or not seen-- following the consumption of its products.

Spring Heeled Jack Malt Liquor

What gives Spring Heeled Jack its famous kick? Could it be the way we blend hard cider with our already high-octane malt liquor? Could it be the way its debonair flavor hides a devilish bite? Or is it just that we brew it with really large hops?