Mandrill's Ass Red

This fine beer is served in a special bottle wrapped with mandrillskin leather, symbolizing the distinctive narrow-aperture brewing process first introduced by Sir Percival Fine-McNaughten during Queen Victoria's reign. Sorry, but on advice of counsel we cannot serve this particular brew to government employees or healthcare workers.

Champy's Monster Bitter

Brewed from the waters of Lake Champlain, this dark beer has the distinctive flavor of lake monster milt mixed in to the brewing process. Note also the tiny smelt swimming in the bottom of the bottle. WARNING: Do not pour this beer out on freshwater lakes.
Really.
We mean it.

Old Genghis Two-Steppe

The brew of kings! Made from a classical Mongolian recipe involving mare's milk and calf brains, this mighty porter will have you racing across the steppes in search of women and plunder in no time. Not recommended for consumption with White Russians or Vienna sausages.

Keel's Mothman Lager

Take the finest West Virginia river water, grain from the Appalachian feuding belt, the most pleasant mountain hops, and a strong dash of panic and rumor. Served in memorial glasses shaped like collapsed bridges. Guaranteed to have you seeing glowing eyes in the night.

Beer of the Damned

This is a black steam beer from the oldest brewery in Arkham, MA. And we mean old. Tentacle marks on the bottle are considered a sign of authenticity with this brew. If you should discover tentacle fragments within the bottle, we strongly advise a rapid exit from the premises, zip code and area code.

Stinkpot's Private Reserve

Brewed in ancient stone pots handed down by troupes of mute Basque acrobats, this recipe was only recently rediscovered in a secret Nazi bunker in the remote Klølen Mountains of Norway. Our brew masters rob the graves of popes for the secret herbs that create the distinctive flavor.