Sasquatch's Old Hairy Bastard Stout

Long believed mere legend, this extra-strong stout -- brewed from roots, berries, twigs, dirt, fur, and crushed cameras -- will lengthen your stride and put hair on your chest. Discovered by renowned cryptobrewologist Roy Coleman Shuker, on one of his many expeditions in the Great North Woods.

Aztec Nectar Ale

Brewmaster Mutex's unparalleled art brings forth this rich, potent concoction, and every member of the Aztec Nectar team puts his whole heart into our product. Send in three proofs-of-purchase to receive a handmade flaked-obsidian bottle opener -- not available in stores! Brewery tours available by appointment only.

Angelic Effluvia Lager

Made from the tears of the angel Loquel, who is chained in the basement of a Scottish brewery. Goes well with pasta and grilled sacrificial meats. Best of all, you can drink all you want, and never get a hangover! Loquel does the suffering for you!

Giant Whale Ale

A fine, briny ale enjoyed by the band of adventurers and ne'er-do-wells who found themselves swallowed by the great whale Leviathan. Forced to live inside the whale's stomach, they built a first-rate microbrewery, using equipment and ingredients consumed by the beast. Imported by Ahab Imports, Ltd.

Lo! Calorie Light Beer

So light that after one bottle you'll float into the sky, land on the moon, discover that the moon is a hollow spaceship, explore the mammoth caves at the moon's core, eat some moon cheese with the Selenites, drift back to Earth in a stately manner, and find yourself ten pounds lighter than when you began. Drink responsibly.

Deathly Pale Ale

The world's first fungus-based bioluminescent pale ale! This brew's intoxicating effects include apocalyptic visions from the end of time and glimpses into the exquisite horrors of a non-denominational afterlife. Brewed from the finest fungi, exclusively imported from the temples of Planet X, beyond the orbit of Pluto.